Making Big Life Decisions? Here’s Why a Thinking Partner Can Help
“Two heads are better than one” is a widely accepted piece of wisdom that we probably don't lean on as much as we should. In an era of AI-assisted search and analytics, it's become easier and easier to stay locked in your own silo when weighing the pros and cons of an important decision.
But when it comes to navigating major decisions and transitions like changing jobs, moving, or preparing for retirement, facts and figures are rarely enough. We need people we trust and respect who can supply us with the human data that is so crucial to maximizing our Return on Life. This is even more critical if you have a blended family since they inherently have significant complexity.
Your spouse should be one thinking partner. This is the cornerstone of how we help couples create a Unified Financial Vision for their family. But it is also important to have thinking partners in addition to your spouse. Maybe it’s a mentor or coach, a lifelong friend, or a friend from your Bible study.
If you don’t have a thinking partner you can turn to the next time you're at a crossroads, here are three reasons to consider opening up to one.
1. See From Different Perspectives
About ten years ago, the internet went crazy for The Dress: a blue and black striped dress that looked gold and white to many, many people. Scientists couldn't quite pinpoint why folks looking at the same photograph could see such a different picture. And ultimately, that non-conclusion was the whole point of the meme: people see things differently, right and wrong, for a variety of reasons.
When it comes to decision-making, we all bring our own life experiences, preconceptions, biases, hopes, fears, and expertise to the table. Isn’t this particularly true in blended family relationships? You and your spouse come into the marriage with very different values and perspectives. This is also true of the other people in your life, such as a coach or co-worker. By discussing important decisions with a thinking partner, you'll have even more emotional, intellectual, and experiential filters to pass your choices through. Your thinking partner could also help you identify blind spots that could be keeping you from seeing what's really coloring your decisions.
2. Develop Your Own Thoughts More Thoroughly
Sometimes, when we're faced with a difficult decision, we get so lost in the details that we lose sight of what we're really trying to decide. And as we’re turning over options in our heads, we could get locked in a loop rather than arrive at a conclusion.
Break the cycle by explaining your thought process to another person. Verbalizing can help you organize your ideas and filter out unnecessary information while also forcing you to communicate more clearly. Talking it out might also lead to some helpful follow-up questions about risks you might be overlooking or exaggerating, assumptions you might be making for better or worse, and alternate paths you might take toward the same destination. You don't have to explain what you're thinking like you're talking to a child—but if you're really stuck, that approach might be helpful.
For example, at work, I do this on the whiteboard. Writing my ideas on the board helps trigger both the organizational and creative sides of my brain. But it also puts my ideas out there for my team to process. If something doesn't make sense to them, it probably, deep down, doesn't make sense to me either.
3. Inspire Accountability
Your thinking partner's perspectives on the decision at hand might inspire you to approach your challenges and opportunities more creatively. You might build off each other's ideas and come up with a radical new way forward. A new way of looking at your options might also help you see that your choices aren't as complicated as you thought they were.
But, perhaps more importantly, when you involve someone else in your decisions, they're going to provide accountability. That accountability could be as soft as asking follow-up questions in a week or two to see what you decided. Or it could be tougher: holding you to deadlines, encouraging you to take a step in the right direction every day, and asking to see actionable, measurable signs of progress.
We’re always ready to help you think through your long-term and short-term financial plans and the decisions you encounter along the way. Make an appointment, and let’s talk about what’s on your mind for the year ahead.
Based in St. Paul, MN, Endurance Financial Group is an Independent Registered Investment Advisor partnering with blended families to combine their household finances in a unified financial plan that works for all members of the family. They can be reached by phone at 651-605-2318 or online at efg-planning.com.
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.
